Why I hate shopping.

10°C, cool easterly dry wind.
It’s mostly the disappointment. Shopping is about making choices, you go into a shop and either choose something that doesn’t fit, or you choose to leave the shop.
It doesn’t matter whether I want clothes or  a sleeping bag. Most clothes are either sized for medium people, or for fat people. Clothes for larger men are the same as medium except that have fat belly space. Sleeves are usually the same length as are trouser legs. Short sleeves and legs don’t have adjustable hems any more.​

A capella, acapulca, a poodle-goat, as you can see.

Sleeping bags are sometimes available in long lengths. I say available, but that doesn’t mean any shops have them in stock, it doesn’t even mean the importer has any either. The sleeping bag I want may be available by the end of February.
Are you getting a sense of why I don’t like shopping?

Shopping is annoying.

13°C, grey.
Fact: shopping is annoying. Shops stock a large range of trousers for guys with a fat arse and bamboo legs. Another shop I tried, sold trousers in only one leg length, that was a short 34″ so alterations are not possible. I hate shopping and I envy those who can go into a shop and choose colour and fabric. My choice is between- buy something that doesn’t fit, or leave the shop.

To be doing?

-2C~? Clear

I know language is an organic thing that evolves over the decades. But there is a trend that doesn’t rest easily with me, the prevalence of the passive present continuous voice. It’s everywhere and sounds so weak and excessively wordy. One day, not too far in the future you’ll hear this:

Will you be taking this man, to be having and to be holding…?

Yuk! Sometimes this form is necessary but more often it’s clumsy , wordy and just glaringly ugly.

Why the need?

18°C, Light SW, mostly sunny. CR:63 miles

Why the need to park like this? There is a guy in the corner house that has a pushchair for two kids. I presume he has to divert into the road, but that’s okay because your car is all white and perfect and lovely and new and you are so so proud of it. And it cost you all of your money.
This was on a quiet residential side-road. There is hardly any traffic on this road, the other parked cars provide some form of shelter and swiped side-mirrors are not a problem here. I can see that you have folded the mirrors so that people who have to squeeze passed don’t hurt them.

80

27°C, clear & still

Two loosely related news stories this week have caught my attention with their retrograde trend. One, proposes to raise the speed limit on motorways to 80mph. This has sparked numerous threads on forums (or is that fora?), interviews in TV and is said to be opposed by “environmental groups”. What worries me about the debate is its one-dimensional nature. MPs and most commentators seems to think there is only one reason against a change- safety. It’s almost as if they haven’t considered that there are other reasons at all. As I get older I am increasingly pushed towards the view that our leaders & decision makers are just plain stupid.
Look guys, here are some factors to consider just so you don’t have to think any up yourselves: fuel consumption (oil is going to run out eventually), noise, wear (on cars and on the roads), fear (cars full of kids because mums fear the traffic). All of those problems increase with speed.

Kwikfit-up

18°C, cloudy & sunny stuff

They’ve charged me for nitrogen filling in a tyre repair. No, I didn’t ask for it, the stuff I have been putting in tyres for 20 years is 80% nitrogen anyway- why pay extra for it. Further, look at what it says in the receipt under “Brakes”:

Unique Lifetime Guarantee on all brake pads…
For as long as you own the car, plus 12 months or 12,000 miles whichever comes first.

12,000 miles is about a 1½ years, great lifespan. What lives for just 12 months?

It’s a maths question, dammit!

6°C, white cloud

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This deserves to be shared.

It’s Monday-thursday

it’s going to be hot 23°C? We’re going to have known nothing like it.

Monday-thursday: a day where the queen gives arms to the poor. Armed, one day the poor will rise up and it will become all Citizen-Smith here. Or something like that.
I have too much of a cold to enjoy the hot weather, dammit, I shall not complain.

Alternative vote: The Tories say that the Politician with the 3rd most votes will get in. They say, according to this leaflet, that there are no wasted votes in FPtP (First past the post). It looks to me as if they have taken all the evidence and drawn the diametrically opposite conclusions. The No voters look to be in the majority in the polls now, I suspect that people simply don’t understand how it works; plus the No-campaigners are lying about its consequences. All they have to do is use the numbers to illustrate advantages (or otherwise) then we could make up our minds. Perhaps the root of the problem is that they’re all afraid of talking numbers; such a fear is widespread. Politicians still haven’t really grasped why we, the public, hate them.

Spirit of Renewal?

In addition to the License agreement, here are some notes of guidance to lodgers on living in a harmonious household:

• Put rubbish in the bin, there are many to choose from.
• An empty bottle does qualify as rubbish so it should not be put back in the fridge.
• Neither the windowsill, nor the draining-board qualifies as a bin.
• It is not necessary to wash rubbish before throwing it away.
• If you do have time to do that, then you have enough spare time in your life to get a job. (see below#)
• Never put a chicken carcass in the garden waste recycling bin.
• The breadbin is for bread, not carrots, nor is it for tomatoes, just bread.
• When you let yourself in the house, take your key out of the lock and keep it with you.
• Used  nicotine chewing gum must not be stored on the wall-tiles in the Bathroom.
• It it not necessary to spend 40′ in the shower each day. Nobody is that dirty, especially someone without a job.
• When you fill the washing machine, follow the process through by actually switching the machine on.
• After it has eventually washed, take out the laundry to dry. Certainly do this in less than 3 days.   This ensures that the clothing does not go rancid and requires another wash. It should be possible for the whole process to take less than a week. Remember- you are not the only person who may want to use this facility.

Further solutions to problems:

• If you were able get up in the morning, it would become possible to hold down a job.
• You may be able to get a job if you were to actually apply for one.
• If this is all followed up, then you’d be able to pay your own rent.
• Your mother did not work hard for decades, paying in to her pension scheme only to use it to pay your rent.
• Rent should be paid on rent-day. If unpaid after 2 weeks, you will incur an 8% interest rate on it.

Note to lodger

3°C, clear & cold, light winds.

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Wrote this note to the lodger & put it in a bag of apples:

If you want some food, go and buy some. Don’t steal mine!

He has read it. Incrimination itself.